Broken Glass
by VegasGirl09
Summary: Actions have consequences. These are the actions and the case that led Julie Finlay down a path of danger and almost cost her everything.
1. Chapter 1

_Seattle 2009_

The distant rumble of thunder caused her to look up at the grey sky with a growing sense of nervousness. The questionable, no, the dangerous task she was about to partake in could not be swayed by the impending storm. The inclement weather only added to the heightened risk she was taking tonight. Her stop was just around the corner, so she quietly asked the taxi driver to stop within a block of the large, multi-story building in downtown Seattle.

"Ma'am are you sure?" the driver asked her slowing the taxi to a stop "it looks like it's about to pour."

"I'll be fine," she insisted, handing him the crumpled up bills for the charge of the ride.

The driver thanked her, watching her slip out of the seat and march up to the building before driving away.

The rain had just begun to drizzle as she walked the street, trying to blend in with those around her but struggling to maintain composure. Her outfit was hampering her ability to camouflage in. She had carefully selected the little black dress from her closet with matching heels. Her hair was a different story. Wearing it down would surely give her away so she had no choice but to tie it back with a ridiculous clip the size of a small satellite orbiting earth. She debated bringing a jacket but that would be an extra thing in her hands that would no doubt draw suspicion to her. But as the rain drops hit her bare skin, she started to regret not bringing it. Her only true weapon to back her up tonight was a larger than normal clutch bag. Bejeweled with a silver chain and clasps, she could easily conceal anything in it, and tonight, its sole purpose was to bring justice.

As the crowd of people entered and mingled in the lobby of the building, she found it easy to slip in amongst the crowd. Everyone here was dressed like her, women in dresses, hair thrown up, men in suits and ties. She had made the right choice in picking this event. The newly renovated downtown loft area would be opening soon, and this was the celebration party. The prominent businesses had given millions in donations to the project because they all assumed the investor was a good guy. She knew otherwise.

She managed to ease her way into the main event room, eyes scanning the large crowd for her target. He would not be easy to find amongst the other dignitaries and rich elite of Seattle. But she also knew he had habits, things that needed to be tended to, business deals always flying, phone calls to make, hands to shake, she would find him when he was at his most distracted. A waiter passing around trays of hors-d'oeuvre nearly bumped into her. She dodged them with quick reflexes, knowing any sort of accident would draw attention to her and ruin her plan.

Getting away from the main reception area was key, but she needed to keep her target in sight. Luckily, an empty table had cleared, and she positioned herself in the seat facing the crowd, so she could remain hidden but still lie in wait. After the hors-d'oeuvre's, she knew wine and other mixed drinks would be served. From the kitchen entrance, she spotted various waiters and waitresses carrying trays with enough alcohol to power this party for hours. She tightened her grip on her purse when she saw him pick up a red wine and sip it twice before setting it down at his table. Everyone else in his group had done the same. She had to be very careful not to lose sight of his. Music started to play from the orchestra on the small stage near the lobby. People were toasting their glasses together, laughing, swaying with the music, all while the rain pelted the building outside. When it came down to it, she was not worried about getting caught. What she feared the most was being wrong. Because being wrong meant she had lost her nerve. After several agonizing minutes of watching people drink, she watched on the edge of her seat as her target abandoned his table with what she assumed was his date; a woman in a similar dress and heels whom he leads over to the orchestra, so they could watch and possibly dance. Her chest was burning now with an overwhelming ache telling her to proceed now before it was too late.

Slipping from her seat, she strolled casually through the crowd, keeping an eye on her target whose back was still to her. There were still two people at his table and she wondered if they really knew him or had been assigned those seats. It occurred to her that she should have donned a waiter's uniform instead. That would have at least given her a reason to scoop up the wine glass without drawing suspicion. She stopped walking, wondering if it was too late to go back and steal a uniform and a tray. In her moment of hesitation, the other two guests vacated the table. Her luck was turning now and there was no going back. She reached the table, being careful not to lean against any part of it or rest her hands on anything but the wine glass.

She used the tissue stuffed in her clutch bag to pinch the wine glass at its stem. Glancing around one last time for any onlookers, she scooped up the empty wine glass, seeing the residue from his drink still swirling at the bottom letting her know he had drank from it, and placing it delicately into the zip seal plastic bag she brought with her. From the nearby cart of silverware, she grabbed a replacement glass and positioned it perfectly on the table. Her target was still on the dance floor watching the orchestra, no one had made her. She delicately slipped the glass in its bag into her clutch purse but could not close the snaps on it. Cursing to herself, she fumbled with the bag and started walking towards the exit, stealing glances back at her target and his guests. Not a single person paid any attention to her as she finally managed to snap the bag shut. It was now painfully obvious she was concealing something in her bag and she needed to get out of here quickly. She tucked the fragile bag under her arm, trying not to crush it as she meandered towards the exit. She reached the double doors in the lobby, stealing one last glance at her target who was still unaware of her presence before slipping out the doors and into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

The rain was coming down in sheets as she hovered anxiously on the steps of the building awaiting another taxi she had hailed via a phone call to the cab company on her cell phone. She folded her arms across her chest, trying to stay warm but shivering out of nerves and cold. The cab pulled up a few short but agonizing minutes later and she was forced to careen down the concrete steps, hurl herself into the cab and slam the door. That short journey had soaked her with rain and she shivered uncontrollably now. Luckily for her, the cab driver was not the same one she had accompanied here. She stole a glance at the time reflected on the digital radio, it was ten fifteen. The entire jaunt into the party took her about an hour to complete. When the cab driver prompted her for a location, she mumbled her home address. The car started to move, merging into traffic then onto the freeway. The rain drops were pelting the windows, sliding off at angles while she tried to maintain composure by focusing on them, the motion was making her ill. Within thirty minutes, she was back on her front porch, shivering as she unlocked the door and slipped inside.

The hallway was dark and she left it that way for a moment, leaning against the wall, her heart hammering with adrenalin over the magnitude of what she had just done. Once she regained her composure for the third time tonight, she slipped out of her high heels and tiptoed, barefoot on the floor, into the bathroom right off the living room. She shut the door with a soft click, slipped out of her dress, and stuffed it into a plastic bag along with her shoes. She wiped away all her makeup, pulled out the clip holding her damp hair up and let it fall, scrunching it up to dry some of the water and make it wavy like it naturally was. She used a towel to dry off, stuffing that in the plastic bag with her shoes and dress. Finally, she hastily threw on jeans, a casual shirt and running shoes before gathering up the bag and exiting the bathroom. She crept back down the dark hallway, clothes and clutch bag in hand, scooped up her keys from the coffee table and backed out the front door once more.

Inside her car, she stuffed the clothes into the glove box, pulling out a pair of latex gloves instead. With the gloves securely on, she removed the wine glass from the clutch bag and its plastic protector. With one shaky hand, she held the glass, with the other, she used a cotton swab around the entire top of the glass where she knew he had sipped from. She secured the swab in a vile she had taken from the lab a few days ago, closing the lid with a soft click.

The Seattle PD crime lab wing was attached to the main police station but located at the very back of the building. Entering this late at night was not suspicious at all. Entering with a clear bag containing a single piece of evidence, unmarked, a bit of a red flag. The DNA lab was run by six techs. Only one was on duty tonight. She carefully eased her way into the plexiglass lined room filled with test tubes and machinery and stood in front of the on duty techs desk. The tech glanced up at her with very little interest as he said "Working late again Ms. Finlay?"

"Yeah you know how that goes," Julie replied, trying to make casual conversation when in reality, her heart was pounding furiously in her chest.

She started signing the log in form for cataloging evidence, signing her name and the time and the sample.

"What case?" the tech asked automatically.

"Uh," Julie hesitated "you know, I'll have to check with Kerry in the morning, she and I worked this but we just wrapped a double so we're exhausted, can I get it to you later?"

The tech eyed her suspiciously but seemed to sympathize with her plight.

"Fine," he agreed reaching for the sample in her hands.

She reluctantly left the sample with the tech, grimacing at the way he casually shoved it in with the rest of his samples, wishing he could know what she went through to get that and what it could cost her.

AN- I probably should have clarified at the end of the first part that this would be multiple chapters. TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

It was after midnight when she pulled her car back into the driveway. The rain had left the sidewalk shimmering with water, like a coating of ice but reflective when she walked on it. She let herself back inside, not being nearly as quite as she had been on her first return home. She shuffled down the dark hallway, catching a glimpse of the pictures on the wall when a car went by and it's headlights illuminated the space around her.

She stopped in her tracks when her wedding photo was brightened by the lights for a moment. She wore a dress she spotted at a department store long before Mike had even popped the question. He noticed her eyeing the lacey gown with longing but insisted she didn't really need that to get married in, her face glowing red with embarrassment. That was until he told her he didn't mind and if she wanted to buy the dress right then and there, she could. Then she got nervous that, since he saw it before they were really married, they would suffer future disaster. Nevertheless, he pulled her into the dress shop and they had the time of their lives that day. She tried on several dresses and giggled when he showed her his genuine reactions to each one. Most women would frown upon picking out wedding dresses with their current boyfriend not yet fiancé, but for them, it was completely natural.

Thinking back to that day, and then to a year later when they were officially married, she felt her stomach churn as she reached the bedroom where he was currently asleep, unaware of her actions tonight, under the impression that she was working graveyard and had not secretly slipped into that dress in her car and gone to that party to steal that wine glass. Wincing with guilt, she eased her way into the room, slipping into pajamas in the pitch black darkness of the room, then sliding into bed, being careful not to wake Mike. Unfortunately, she had barely settled under the covers and breathed a small, tired sigh when she felt him move behind her.

"Your late," he accused her but she knew he had not even looked at what time it was.

"You know how that goes," she reminded him of their demanding jobs which would throw suspicion off her being late for any other reason.

"Yeah," he mumbled, pulling her close, no longer caring bout what had delayed her, just happy to have her home.

When he wrapped his arms around her, he felt tension in her shoulders and the way she was fidgeting concerned him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, and she knew, he could tell something was wrong.

"Later?" she offered him, feeling too exhausted to come up with a fake, bothersome case.

"Of course," he agreed, knowing how she tended to bottle up her emotions but would eventually open up to him on her own terms.

He fell silent now and she knew he was falling back to sleep. She let him hold her but couldn't shake the horrible ache of guilt in her stomach, dozing in and out of light sleep throughout the night, waking the next morning earlier than normal, a headache pounding against her skull.

Over the course of the next week, she found life difficult to navigate. She worked her shifts as normal as possible but was constantly on edge, waiting for the DNA tech to bring her the results she desperately needed. Simultaneously, she was watching the news for any sign that her target knew of her actions. He would surely blow up the media if he found out and she would be in even worse trouble if she didn't have those results to use as leverage. Her mind ached from wondering what those results would mean for the case. It would bring closure to the victims families but would also create a world in which the prominent business man was guilty of horrific acts he had denied for months, only brought to justice by her swift, albeit illegal, actions.

Ten days had passed, and she was starting to lose sleep. Mike noticed but didn't push her to reveal any troubles she was keeping hidden from him. When she finally did manage a few decent hours of sleep during a Wednesday afternoon while Mike was at work, a furious pounding on their front door woke her up with a start. She threw on his old hoodie as she rushed to tidy her hair and hobble to the front door. A voice yelling at her from outside made her freeze in her tracks.

"Finlay, I know you're in there, we need to talk right now!"

She held her breath. It was the DNA tech. Obviously he had results for her and judging by his harsh tone, he knew what she had done. With a shaky hand, she reached for the door handle and turned it, opening it slowly but getting pushed back when the tech barged into the foyer.

"What the hell is this?" he demanded, handing her the paper results "Tom Cooley, are you insane? How the hell did you get this and why would you bring it to me?"

"Listen," she began, holding up her hands in defense "this has nothing to do with you, this was all my idea, I needed answers and we couldn't get a sample so, I got one."

"Like hell you did," the tech snarled at her "this is illegal, I'm telling supervisor Russell and your husband, you're gonna lose your badge for this."

"I know, I know," Julie said hastily, pacing around the hallway "but I had to know, I knew he hurt those girls, don't you want closure for them? Janet Warren's mother deserves closure. We can't even find her daughters body but we can at least lock the bastard away for what he did."

The tech shook his head, folded up the paper results and said "You should probably come with me back to the lab."

"I'm not turning myself in," she snapped at him "you do what you have to do, and so will I."

The tech hurried out the front door and drove away. She sighed, knowing she only had so much time to prepare for what was about to happen. She took a shower, put on clean clothes, then lowered herself into a chair at the kitchen table. It didn't take long for the sound of footsteps on the porch to alert her as a softer knocking followed. She pushed herself up and out of the chair to reluctantly answer it. Two uniformed officers she recognized as Mike's co-workers from day shift were standing on her porch.

"Jules," the first officer said, "I think you know why we're here."

"That damn tech ratted me out," she said, as if she hadn't been waiting for them.

"It was a bad move kid," the second officer said, "Mike said to go easy on you so-

"You told him?" she interrupted "What did he say? Why didn't he just come get me?"

"You know he can't," the second officer continued "he's waiting for you at the station, everyone is."

By everyone, she knew they meant Russell and the rest of her team. How could she face them like this? Guilt overwhelmed her, but not before she managed to ask "Did you tell Janet Warren's mother that Tom Cooley murdered her daughter and I brought her proof?"

The officers could not tell her a definite answer which angered her further as they marched her out of the house and into their squad car.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The station was crowded with people as the two officers marched Julie inside. She walked with her arms crossed, hovering between the two, her face flushed with warmth from embarrassment. On one side of the spacious lobby, various other CSI's and lab techs who were coming and going for their shifts eyed her with interest. The receptionist at the desk was on the phone but paused to cover the mouthpiece and look at her as she walked by. In one of the detective's offices, she spotted Janet Warren's mother peering at her with tears in her eyes but Julie saw her nod once as a gesture of understanding. On the other side, in a separate detective's office, Tom Cooley and his lawyer were present in front of the desk. The lawyer was shouting at the detective while Cooley remained seated looking utterly unphased by the events until her gaze met his at the same time and he sneered. She felt her heart pound faster in her chest and she now had an idea what his victims saw before they died; that horrible smug look. The further into the station they walked, the more familiar faces she began to pick out from the crowd of onlookers. Kerry Torres and Daniel Shaw, her friends and partners, were leaning against their desks looking sad but avoiding eye contact with her. The officers stopped her and guided her into an interrogation room where DB Russell was seated along with a mystery woman wearing a blazer and slacks, looking very official. She knew this had to be an internal affairs investigator. The officers sat her down then backed out of the room, shutting the door gently behind them as they went.

Julie avoided looking at anyone until she was spoken to.

"CSI Finlay," the IA agent began "do you know why we called you in here today?'

"Yes," Julie mumbled, staring at a chunk of metal on the edge of the table that was peeling off.

"Please explain your whereabouts on Friday May 8th and how you came to obtain Mr. Cooley's DNA," the agent asked.

Julie hesitated now. She knew she was in such deep trouble but she didn't want the case to be tossed out and Janet Warren's mother or those other girls families to be forgotten.

"First tell me what will happen to the case," Julie piped up "will you keep investigating that bastard, you have to, Janet Warren's body is still out there somewhere along with who knows how many other women he went after!"

The internal affairs agent looked at Russell now.

"It's complicated," he said "you compromised everything we had, they are going to review it all from the beginning and we could lose the other leverage we had on him, his property, the other events he attended on the college campuses where the girls were staying, what were you thinking?"

She did not have an answer for him. Instead, she took a deep breath and said as quickly as possible, in flat monotone, "I went to his stupid charity thing last Friday, dressed up, took a taxi downtown, snuck inside, waited for him to eat or drink something, watched him leave the table, snuck over and took the glass he drank from, I snuck out, brought it home, swabbed it for DNA and brought it to the tech here, he thought I was running something else, it's not his fault, he didn't know anything until he gave me the results and, here we are."

The agent took notes on everything she said but Russell just stared at her in disbelief, disappointment, anger, mixtures of these emotions. Her face burned with shame now.

"All right," the agent said "I will conduct my investigation accordingly, until then, the Cooley case and all subsequent evidence is suspended, Ms. Finlay, stay in town, I will be speaking to you again."

She got up from the chair and left the room. Julie made a move to stand up and leave too but Russell's sharp voice snapped "Sit," and she sank back down into the chair.

"Did you really think you would get away that easily?" he demanded to know.

"No," she mumbled, staring at that metal piece again.

"This is a career killer Jules," Russell reminded her "it's going on your permanent record, you'll never be able to work in the field again."

She glanced up at him and asked "You're firing me?"

"I don't have a choice," Russell said "it's either I do it, or the sheriff hauls you in and tears you apart, do you want that?"

"No," she muttered, feeling defeated, hanging her head.

"Look at me," he ordered her, making her feel like a child in timeout.

Their eyes met in a painful awkward silence. She tried not to blink or stare at him for too long in case he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"I thought I knew you better," he finally spoke, crushing her soul with those words before standing up from the table and leaving her alone with only her worst thoughts to sit with her.

Time seemed to stand still, as cliché as it sounds, but Julie could not bring herself to move from that dark, isolated room. She didn't know what was waiting for her outside. She didn't know where to go after being unofficially let go from her job. What was she going to tell Mike? Tell her friends and colleagues? Would the media get a hold of this story? Would she be shunned for the rest of her life? What would happen to Mrs. Warren and the other girl's families now that she had compromised the case? The questions were overloading her mind. She had to escape but where to run? With all the strength she could muster, she lifted herself from the chair, opened the door and peered out into the hallway. No one was waiting to use the room, and no one seemed to be waiting for her, so she slipped out. She wandered down the hall where people seemed to keep going about their day. It occurred to her that she needed a ride home. She tried calling Mike on her cell phone, but he did not answer her. She knew better than to ask Russell for a ride, so she resorted to calling a cab.

As she waited on the curb outside of the police station, a voice right beside her startled her.

"Well done, you dug a deep hole for yourself,"

She spun around and was face to face with Tom Cooley.

"Doesn't matter," she snapped back quickly "that DNA doesn't lie, you killed those women and Janet Warren."

"I don't know why you insist on harassing me," Cooley continued "Janet and those women came to my events, they had a lot to offer the company, what happened to them was unfortunate coincidence."

"Sure," Julie said "whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, why don't you bother someone else, your charm doesn't work on me."

"Well I can see that," Cooley said "I simply came to give you this."

He handed her a sealed envelope before backing away as if he dared her to open it while he was still near her. Instead, she waited until Cooley was out of her sight before tearing into the envelope. She only needed to read the first line to know what was happening; he was suing her and the entire Seattle PD.

The drive home seemed to take only a few seconds to her numb mind. The letter was stuffed in her pocket, but it made her feel ten times heavier. That dead weight coupled with just being fired was creating a hole in her heart where all her confidence and security resided. Mikes car was in the driveway when the cab dropped her off and she knew he had been ignoring her on purpose. She dreaded what awaited her on the other side of the door as she stood on the porch debating what to say as she let herself in.

No sound could be heard as she entered. He didn't have the TV on, or laundry going or anything cooking. It was just silence. She turned the corner into the kitchen and found him standing at the counter, the bottle of good scotch open and his glass empty.

"Hey," she murmured to get his attention.

"Hey," was his only reply as he swirled the ice around in his glass.

"I couldn't find you at the station," she continued "you didn't answer your phone either."

"Why would I?" he snapped at her.

"So we could talk," she said, stepping closer to the counter.

"There's nothing to say," he said "except you screwed up, bad."

"But I got him," she insisted.

"No, what you got was all of our evidence under scrutiny and our entire case tossed aside like garbage," he said, voice growing louder "what about those girls? I thought you cared about them?"

"I do!" she insisted "that's why I had to get that DNA, there was no way they would get us a warrant."

"Obviously you don't care about anyone because you destroyed everything we had," he continued and now she wondered what he was really talking about.

"This will all blow over," she tried to reason "the day shift team will find the evidence they need and Cooley will go down for this."

"Right, sure," Mike beat back sarcastically "and until then, none of us can help and we get thrown under the bus."

"Money will be tight for a while," she admitted "but we have enough saved up."

"It's not about money Jules!" he had to shout again because she wasn't getting it "you're in trouble, IA is looking at me now, this could end us both!"

"But you didn't do anything!" she insisted "it was all me, I can vouch for you."

"IA doesn't give a crap," Mike said, pacing the floor now "they know we live and work together, they will insist I knew what you were up to, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to get him," she concluded "for the girls, their families, I didn't think-

"That's exactly it, you didn't think about anyone but yourself," Mike cut her off "after all we worked for, I thought our life together meant more to you, but this case, it's messing with your head, you've been different for so long, I just, I don't think we can do this anymore."

"What are you saying?" she asked but her heart already knew the answer.

"I want a divorce," he dropped the bomb which exploded in their tiny kitchen, the worst emotional punch in the stomach she had received all day.

More to come…


	5. Chapter 5

The house sat up on a hill overlooking the harbor. She could hear the distant rumble of boats chugging by as she walked up the stone pathway to the spacious porch. As she reached the door, a tug boat horn let out a haunting rumble that she could feel in her chest. The heavy oak front door was garnished with a floral wreath no doubt handmade. She knocked with less enthusiasm than she had on previous visits here, setting her travel bag down lazily on the porch, tucking her arms in against her chest, shivering in the late evening chill. When the glass door opened, followed by the large wooden door and Barbara saw her standing there, she sighed and said, "Hi honey."

"Hey," Julie mumbled "Is Russell home?"

"He's in the den," Barbara confirmed but he must have heard her voice because he was right beside Barbara now.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped at Julie.

There was no point keeping it a secret from them so she came right out with it "Mike wants a divorce."

Barbara sighed sadly but Russell said "I'm not surprised."

"D.B," Barbara scolded his cruel response.

"He didn't kick me out or anything like that," Julie continued "I just couldn't stay there, and I didn't know where else to go."

"Hotels around here are pretty nice from what I hear," Russell continued to stand his ground, arms folded in the entryway.

"Stop this," Barbara insisted "Jules is family."

"Don't make me beg," Julie said, shivering harder as the wind picked up.

As angry as Russell was with her, he couldn't be cruel towards Barbara. He walked away as a silent permission for Julie to stay with them.

A huge balloon of relief exploded in Julie's chest as Barbara opened the door completely and motioned for her to step inside. The Russell's lavish home had always been a source of comfort for her, even if D.B. was mad at her, she still felt soothed by the familiar surroundings. The den to her right was a sunken in floor with cushiony couches and arm chairs. Numerous books and magazines littered the various end tables. Built in book shelves took up ninety percent of the wall space. The rest was occupied by Barbara's paintings, high resolution images of mushrooms and the Russell kids artwork.

"You're lucky the kids are out tonight,' Russell gave one last retort to Julie "otherwise I would have said no."

Barbara rolled her eyes and said "Don't listen to him dear" before guiding Julie up the winding staircase to the lofty open second floor. Julie knew there were four bedrooms, one master, one guest and two for Maya and Charlie. Barbara led her straight to the cozy guest room which smelled like lavender and various other oils. Julie hovered anxiously in the middle of the room while Barbara rummaged around in the dresser for something. Julie watched her pull out towels, a robe, some tiny bottles of shampoo and soaps, it really was like a hotel here.

"You don't have to go through all that trouble just for me," Julie insisted feeling guilty for all the fuss.

"You've been through hell," Barbara reminded her "you need to relax, here."

She handed Julie the toiletries and told her "Take a bath, the master has that spa tub."

Julie didn't want to intrude, but she really did need a break.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she shuffled across the hall to the master bathroom to unwind.

Despite the horror the day had presented her with, the bath really did help. The warm water took away the tension in her muscles she had been clinging to for days since stealing the wine glass and during the last few hours. When she finished, she slipped into pajamas and went back across the hall to the guest room. Her hair was slightly damp, but she couldn't bring herself to style it. She just sat on the edge of the bed, numb, legs drawn up to her chest, wondering what would become of her and where to even begin to apologize for what she had done. Barbara's soft knocking on the bedroom door got her attention and she mumbled "It's open,"

As usual around here whenever Julie visited, she was spoiled with attention and concern from Barbara. This time she had brought her food, a small plate of chocolate brownies.

"I know it's just dessert," Barbara said, "but I have soup in the fridge if you want, and I know how much you love these."

She set the plate down on the end table, then joined Julie in sitting on the bed. She noticed her hair looking messy and tangled and she couldn't help but reach for a comb in one of the drawers and begin to untangle it gently.

"These curls," she marveled, as she worked to untangle each strand "they are the prettiest."

While she worked, Julie didn't know what to say. She appreciated the care and compassion but couldn't help but feel guilty still.

"Did D.B. tell you what I did?" Julie finally asked sadly.

"Yes," Barbara confirmed making Julie's heart sink lower in her chest.

"He hates me," Julie uttered her fear now "everyone hates me, Mike, Shaw, Kerry, the entire police force."

"No one hates you dear," Barbara soothed her "D.B will come around, so will Mike and your friends, they just need some time."

"Do you think I made a mistake?" Julie asked, knowing she would be honest with her.

"Well I don't think it was a wise choice," Barbara admitted "but as a mother, I understand why you did it, that poor girl and her mother, those other girls and their families, they need closure for their hearts, I know I would."

"What do you think they'll do to me?" Julie inquired now.

"Let's not worry about that now," Barbara tried to distract her.

She finished styling Julie's hair into her signature curls, which had dried quickly as they were talking.

"I want you to get some rest," Barbara gently ordered her, beginning to turn down the covers on the bed.

"I don't think I can," Julie said, fidgeting anxiously but also feeling her eyes ache with exhaustion.

All Barbara had to do was silently pat the cool, inviting pillows for Julie to swing her legs onto the bed and tuck them under the silky covers. She reached for them to pull them up and over but Barbara had already done that, tucking her in like one of her own children, knowing how Julie's tough exterior hid a fragile heart that needed as much love as anyone. Laying back in the comfortable bed eased more of her tension. The lights dimming seconds later threw her into darkness but made her feel oddly secure, as if the events of the last few days did not happen, and no one could hurt her here. She could let her vulnerability and insecurities show without being judged. As silly as it sounded, having Barbara's mothering presence calmed her down and even though Julie knew trouble would follow her in the weeks and months to come, being here was the best place she could be right now.

AN- The next chapter will probably be the last to wrap things up but I hope to continue some more backstory fics for Finn and Russell and the Seattle team. Also, in my attempt to recreate and establish a timeline for their lives together prior to Vegas, and in the interest of staying consistent with the show, The Gig Harbor Killer events in Seattle occurred before Julie stole the wine glass that got her fired. Otherwise, she would not have been part of the GHK case originally so that would have occurred earlier in 2009.


	6. Chapter 6

Summer seemed to creep up on her surprisingly quick. The wind changed direction and blew cool air from the ocean into the harbors and surrounding suburbs. More vessels filled the waterfront, seeming to overcrowd it with fishermen, haulers and tourist sailboats. The clouds surrounding Mount Rainer cleared with each passing day, allowing for more breathtaking views and making her feel less claustrophobic than before, when all she had were concrete buildings to look at. The view from Kerry's apartment gave them excellent sight of the Space Needle as they worked together, packing boxes, labeling them and sealing them tight with packing tape.

"What time is the van getting here?" Kerry asked Julie as they stacked boxes near the front door.

"The guy said around ten thirty," Julie said, stealing a glance at the clock on the wall, it was ten fifteen.

Both she and Kerry stood up to take a break from moving the boxes. Julie didn't think it was possible to take all her life here and condense it into tiny pieces but here they were. The boxes were going inside the rental van which was going to a storage unit here in Seattle where other miscellaneous items of hers were currently being stored. Whatever important things she needed were currently crammed into the back of her car ready to leave as soon as these current items were secure.

She had to admit, she never thought things would end like this. Looking back, in the days that followed stretching into June and the rest of the summer, Julie could not remember much about them. Certain moments stuck with her, however. The first moment being the hearing held by Internal Affairs in July. Julie had reluctantly hired a lawyer to do most of the talking for her but sitting in the room full of people she knew and cared for and seeing them eye her with looks of anger and disappointment, hurt. Tom Cooley and his lawyer went first, suing her and the lab for negligence and damages as well as stalking of an innocent man. Julie was ordered to stay away from Cooley for a year with the possibility of it becoming a permanent restraining order. On the flip side, Cooley was still considered a suspect and would be subject to any further inquiries from Seattle PD, so he was advised not to leave town until the investigation was completed. As for Julie, she could no longer work the Seattle police department or lab. They would pay her up until a certain date, but she was now unemployed with a nasty scar on her record. Julie could live with that, she had been in trouble before, from elementary school to now. Trouble just seemed to follow her, or situations presented themselves where she needed to step in but always ended up being punished for her overzealous personality. What really did her in was the divorce hearing a week later.

Mike had become a completely different person from the moment she heard him utter those harsh words to her in their kitchen. At the hearing, he sat away from her, claimed all sort of damages such as the ones to his career and future career aspects. Though internal affairs did not charge him or find him in any way responsible for her actions that night, he still felt she owed him something, so she had to pay up. After quick signatures on paperwork and a reluctant return of her ring, she had a weekend to clear out all her stuff from their house which is how the storage unit came about.

Thankfully, her co-worker Kerry Torres had allowed Julie to stay with her while she struggled to move forward with her life and would continue to check on the storage unit now that Julie had figured out a plan, to which she was forever grateful that not everyone had turned their back on her in her time of need. As much as it pained her to leave Seattle, a comfortable place she called home for so long, it was clear from Mike and others around her that she was being ostracized. It was safer to go away and give people the space they needed to heal from her intrusion.

"Will you come back and visit?" Kerry asked now, bumping Julie back to reality.

"You want me to?" Julie asked, stunned by this.

"Well yeah," Kerry said, "we're friends, I'm not just gonna forget you exist."

"I guess so," Julie said feeling a tiny glimmer of hope at the end of this tunnel of hell, "but not right away, I've caused enough damage around here."

"You know I hate it when you talk like that," Kerry scolded her "Barbara Russell too, we got the bastards DNA because of you, we can work with that and we will catch him Jules."

Kerry stepped forward to squeeze both her shoulders reassuringly. Julie was grateful for the pep talk but there was something else still bothering her. She had to put it out of her mind as the rental van driver had arrived and was knocking on the door to the apartment. After loading up the van, Julie accompanied him to the storage unit, made sure her items were secure, paid, and got a ride back to the apartment where her packed car was waiting.

"If I forgot anything, can you send it along?" Julie asked Kerry.

"Duh," Kerry said rolling her eyes at her friend's lack of trust. But Kerry knew Julie was hurting and it would take awhile before the spunky, energetic side of her returned.

"I can't thank you enough for everything," Julie said, acknowledging the painful part of her journey.

"Anytime," Kerry reminded her as if she anticipated more trouble in the years to come from her reckless friend.

Julie drove away with one final wave, her destination half a country away but there was one more stop she had to make first.

Walking through the open lobby, down the hallway towards the offices, no one seemed to notice her. It had been two months since she had last set foot here and that was to clear out all her belongings and turn in her gun and badge. Now when she stepped foot into the building, she had to wear a visitor's badge. Given the clearance she used to have, it gnawed at her that she had been reduced to this title but no use fighting it now. What she came to do today was simple, she hoped, as the stopped in front of the third row of offices and knocked quietly on the fourth office door which was already open slightly.

"It's open," the occupant inside confirmed to her and she entered.

Russell was there, seated at his desk, the odd assortment of mushroom and fungi crowding the table top and shelves had not changed. The cushiony couch where many of them had fallen asleep over the years while working difficult cases was still jammed against the wall near the windows. Books lined the walls just like the did at his home. He was looking at something on his laptop and smiling, no doubt a message or picture of his kids or Barbara. When she stepped further into the office, twisting her hands together nervously, he caught sight of her and his smile faded.

"I thought you left town already?" he asked as if she dared to linger too long here "you've got a long drive to Philly"

"Cars packed," she confirmed "I just wanted to stop by and say-

But she didn't have words ready to go yet. He stared at her, waiting for her to speak which made her nervous so she kept twisting her hands together, locking two or three fingers at a time in her grip as if inducing physical pain would make the emotional pain dissipate. But in her moment of nervousness, she recalled the way he had spoken to her since the incident, how dismissive he had been, how he had basically shut her out of his life, only allowing her to stay at his home for that one night. How helpless she felt when he refused to look or speak to her during the hearing. How he wouldn't even let her see Maya and Charlie for those months. He had iced her out of his life and after all they had been through, that hurt her more than losing her job or Mike.

"Are we ever going to be okay again?" she dared herself to ask.

"I don't know," he admitted "are you going to make another reckless mistake again?"

They both knew the answer to that would be a resounding yes. But in the moment, they didn't dare speak it.

"Look, I know I messed up," she continued "but I've been punished, I've learned my lesson, I don't know what else you want me to say, I'm sorry?"

She tried the last two words she couldn't recall using in front of him since the incident.

Russell sighed and leaned forward in his chair.

"That all sounds fine and dandy in hindsight Jules," he began "but the truth is, you haven't learned your lesson, you _never_ learn, you don't get what was at stake here, and one day, I'm going to get a phone call like I got back in May saying you did something stupid again and I won't have the capability to bail you out."

"So, you do hate me," she said her worst fear out loud, her voice cracking with emotions.

"I didn't say that," Russell said defensively "don't put words in my mouth."

"Well what else am I supposed to think?" she snapped now "you ignored me for weeks, didn't talk to me or ask me how I was doing, that kind of stuff, that _hurt_."

She made sure to emphasize the word hurt so he would know she didn't care about what anyone else thought anymore, she only cared about his opinion of her. Some would call that a flaw but to her, after all their times together, his respect was like gold and she didn't want to lose that because if she did, she had no purpose for going forward in life. She prided herself on not needing approval from others but this, her time with Russell, under his administration, had changed her. She confided in him secrets and fears, worries and insecurities, she slept at his house, hung out with his kids, spent Sunday afternoons there almost every week, and yet, when she needed him, he shut her out and looking back on what had occurred in the last few weeks, his disappointment in her and lack of communication had been the worst part. She had fixated on his treatment of her since the whole mess started and it was all that was in her head since she entered his office.

Russell watched her after she spat out that last sentence " _That hurt."_ He had known from the beginning that it would not be easy to cut her out of his life. She was a natural presence that had become so familiar over the last few years that ignoring her had made a funny pain go through his chest every day for the last few months. It hurt him to breath some days because he couldn't tell her how he was really feeling about her actions without compromising the investigation. But now here she stood in all her rage and fury practically begging for some sort of acknowledgment that she was no longer in the metaphorical dog house of shame. She had been twisting her hands together since she walked in, a signature trademark she did absentmindedly at crime scenes or various other points during their shifts and he wondered if she knew he noticed it. She was still fidgeting, rocking on her toes anxiously, and he could no longer stand it.

He rose from the chair, walked around his desk to stand in front of her, put both hands on her shoulders and whisper "I know."

That simple statement told her all she needed. He knew he had hurt her, he knew she was sorry, he knew she would not be able to sleep again until she had confirmation that things between them were okay. It also signified that he knew she was hurting about losing Mike, her job, her credibility and whatever other jumble of emotions the last few months had caused her. Finally, he knew she would never again feel secure in her judgment or her skills. She would never want to betray anyone again and this incident would follow her for the rest of her life.

She could no longer contain the tears that had been building in her eyes not just within the last few moments of banter with him but for the last three months. She didn't need to cry hard, she had done enough of that in the shower, in bed, in her car, but the tiny whimper of anguish she allowed to escape her was enough emotional release for him to see the damage that had been done to her soul.

"I know," he said again, this time in a soothing tone.

He took a chance and guided her closer in a gentle embrace. He felt her resist for a moment, not wanting to be one of _those_ people who "needed a hug" but in the security and privacy of the office, she felt safe to show her vulnerability. Plus, he didn't know when he would see her again. This wasn't just a show of support, this was goodbye, albeit temporarily, he hoped with his whole heart and soul.

After a few short minutes that seemed like an eternity to them both, she pulled away, breaking the hug and hastily wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"So, uh, call me when you get to your moms," Russell said to break any awkward silence that had settled around them.

"I will," Julie promised him "tell Barbara and the kids I said bye."

"No problem," he assured her, knowing Barbara would be upset that he let her go without stopping by the house first.

But Julie needed to leave this way. She needed to get away from Seattle and the pain she had caused everyone as well as the massive amount of trouble she had gotten herself into. She turned, stuffing her hands in her jeans pockets as she moved towards the door. She stole one last glance back at him, managing a small smile of gratitude, warmth, an emotion he couldn't identify, before turning away. Her bouncing curly hair was the last thing he saw, feeling a tiny ache in his chest at the thought of not seeing those familiar curls bouncing through the lab for who knew how long. She had brightened up his life here and it made sense that, for the rest of the day, clouds overtook the city now that she had gone.

AN- And that's the end for now. I hope to explore more moments like this pre-Vegas and some post Vegas as Finn adjusted to her new life there once Russell rehired her. Stay tuned and in the meantime, thanks for reading and reviewing.


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